What Is This?
by delena1997
Summary: Friends with benefits. The three words that every cliché teenage movie begins with. You could guess the plot already - but when is anything between these two as simple as it should be?
1. Prologue: What is this?

"What the hell is this, Damon?" she yelled across the room at him, tears pooling in her eyes. Everything was so messed up. The one normal thing in her life, the one constant presence was slipping away and fading as fast as a broken memory.

"You know as well as I do what this is!" he shouted back at her eyes blazing in anger. "It was _your_ fucking idea!"

"You went along with it! You could have said no!" she screamed, her heart beating in her chest.

"To you?" he laughed humourlessly. His blue eyes had lost some of the heat of anger and now held pain. A deep heart wrenching pain and an unfathomable sadness. "You know how I felt about you!"

"How could I have known that, Damon? Could I have picked it up from the constant dates you went on? From the advice you were constantly asking me for?" she said bitterly, tears finally spilling over and rolling resolutely down her cheeks.

"When, in all those time I asked you for advice, in all the times I came over after a date, did I ever mention feeling anything remotely serious for one of those girls?"

"Is that supposed to make me feel _better_?" she screamed, anger building up inside her. "That you used all those girls and never felt a thing for them?"

"You're supposed to accept it! And accept the fact that if it wasn't them then maybe, just maybe it could have been you?" he hissed, his voice cold and his eyes unforgiving.

"How can I accept it?" she shouted wildly. "The whole time this was going on you never mentioned a thing about that!"

"How could I?" he said softly, the anger fading from his eyes. "That would have been a brilliant conversation!" he said sarcastically.

"It wouldn't have been brilliant but it would have been _real!_"she said, feeling everything they had ever had between them shattering into a million tiny pieces. "You let me sit there for _years _thinking you felt nothing for me. Nothing!"

"It wouldn't have changed a thing, Elena and you know it." he spat out, his voice dripping with venom as he turned away from her and headed for the door.

She laughed shortly, everything about her completely devoid of humour. "It would have changed everything Damon."

Something in her voice made him stop in his tracks and turn to face her. His face completely frozen. Even his eyes – the only part of him which gave up any truth – when a sheet of ice showing no signs of melting.

"Yeah. It would have." he said coldly, completely emotionlessly. "But it's over. We were stupid and naïve to even think this could work."

"We weren't stupid or naïve, Damon, and you know it. You forget it worked fine until afterwards. Until we stopped. Until we carried on like nothing happened and we were normal again, completely normal and completely ourselves. When you made me see a different side to you and you made me feel more than just _friendship_ for you and then it was gone as if it never existed – as if it meant nothing. _That _was how this" she gestured between the two of them. "should have happened." she whispered in a hushed voice that seemed to bounce off of every surface in the room. "It should have been like that last time was our first. When it was about both of us and something more than just sex." she spat out bitterly.

"You're the one who said no emotions!" he exclaimed incredulously.

She threw her hands up in her air in exasperation. "There _were_ no emotions to begin with!"

"Then why are you so upset?" he screamed at her.

"Because it ended! That stupid agreement ended after a while and then it was normal. Then you started being sweet and how can you blame me for feeling something more?"

"You know I never thought of you just as a friend." he said sadly.

"How could I have known that? Not once, in the whole time we've known each other was there even a hint. When it comes down to it you made me feel like any of those other girls, like I was just another girl in your bed that gave you what you wanted. That I was 'nothing to you'!" she made air quotes with her shaking hands.

"You know I didn't mean what I said." he whispered brokenly, his ice blue eyes melting with emotion.

"But you still said it." she said steadily, the tears still rolling down her cheeks but her voice was even. "Do you even know how that felt for me to hear that?"

He stared at the floor and she could see the agony in her eyes reflected in his. "Don't." he said in a silent whisper.

She let out a long, shaky breath with her eyes closed, determined to block out his face from her memory.

He let out a short laugh suddenly causing her to snap her eyes open in shock. He shrugged ruefully staring at her in utter sadness. "In all the ways this could have happened and in all the ways I could have told you how I felt it had to be like this. Like it is a goodbye."

"Isn't it?" she dared ask.

"Does it have to be?" he countered sadly. Those eyes, the only eyes that could make her stomach flip flop and her heart beat faster, bored into hers letting all his sadness and regret seep out into her.

She had to break the eye contact first. He was right. It didn't have to be goodbye. They could survive this. It would never been exactly the same.

It could be better.

She closed her eyes again, the ugly memories flashing through her mind making a lump grow in her throat.

When her eyes opened again he was met with those same eyes. Her stomach flip flopped and her heart started beating faster – just like they always had.

"Yes." she said so quietly he maybe didn't hear. He showed no sign of understanding or hearing that one word that tore her apart.

"It doesn't have to end like this." he said in a low voice. So he had heard her – of course he had. That one word probably hurt him as much as it hurt her. Two words – yes and no – that would both change everything in two drastically different ways.

"I know." she whispered into the quiet night as she stepped towards the doorway. "It won't."

* * *

_Author's Note: To those who have read my stories for a while - yes, i have a terrible habit of starting a few stories at once then not finishing them and i think this is my fourth unfinished I'm putting up? Why am I doing this? Because I'm an idiot._

_I've tried to write new chapters for my other fics for a while and it hasn't been working so this is my apology._

_Ek, sorry. If you guys are dying to see a particular story updated message me so I know what to work and and so I at least have some inspiration. (:_


	2. The Good Life

_"To my friends in New York, I say hello" _

_Good Life - One Republic_

* * *

_SIX MONTHS EARLIER_

Elena sighed as she walked off the plane and made her way through the terminal to find her bags, and hopefully someone who would take her to the job interview. The phone call from Bridget & Miller had woken her up from her comfortable small town life in West Virginia and made her finally press play in a series of plans she had made with her best friend long ago. Her hyperactive, blonde bombshell of a best friend had wasted no time after high school. Caroline was out of Mystic Falls and jet setting to New York before the summer was out to begin her studies at NYU in the fall. Of course, Elena had promised she would fly out as soon as she graduated college but that was over a year ago now. She had graduated and found herself unable to tear herself away from small town life and start over in a big city. Everyone she knew had moved out of Mystic Falls or gone away to study. She remembered the painful day when she was seventeen when her best friend had told her he had to move away and hadn't heard from him other that Christmas cards and birthday e-mails. Seventeen years of being completely inseparable then suddenly, that was gone. Eventually, she found herself making excuses to Caroline about why she wouldn't leave her small town life so that she finally stopped asking. Every big dream, every big ambition had faded into the past where she thought she would never see them again.

Elena looked around, brushing a strand of her long dark hair behind her ear as she hauled her bag off of the baggage reclaim. She rolled her suitcase to the door, hoping whatever receptionist had been tasked with picking her up was at least a punctual one.

Finally, she spotted a dark haired man holding her name on a piece of paper looking as if he would rather be anywhere else in the world other than here. She scowled, as she looked closer at the piece of paper. 'Elena _Gillert'_ it read. She guessed it was her; Elena wasn't a very common name and it wasn't the first time her name was spelt wrongly. She sighed resignedly; every time someone was sent to pick her up from somewhere they were never exactly _nice._

She walked up to the man, focusing on not losing him in the crowd more that why he looked vaguely familiar from the side. "Hi." She said awkwardly to the dark haired man, shocking herself at how familiar her looked. She pushed the thought to the back of her mind. It wouldn't be him. If it was she wouldn't have even have enough time to say half the things she would want to.

"I'm Elena Gilbert."

The man turned around suddenly, his picture a mask of shock, horror, pain, happiness and just about every emotion under the sun.

She stared at him in shock, a strange numbness coursing through her. Was this some sick twisted joke? That the very man sent to collect her was the best friend she had picked up and left five years ago? "Elena." He said breathlessly. "I-"

"You what, Damon? Forgot about me?" she said spitefully before weaving her way through the crowd, wheeling her suitcase behind her.

"Elena, that's not what happened." He pleaded with her. "You have no idea how amazing this is-"

She scoffed and whirled around to face him, eyes blazing. "No. You have to drive me to a job interview, then you have to show me the hotel I'm staying in and then you're not going to bring up the fact that you dropped off the face of the earth for five years and then you're going to _leave me alone_."

He stared at her, his blue eyes pained. He only nodded before grabbing her suitcase gently and leading her towards a car parked in the underground parking. He opened the door in silence for her and placed her case in the trunk. Finally he took his place in the driver's seat.

"So how you been?" Damon said cheerfully as he pulled out the parking space and reversed onto the street. He obviously still had the same ability to be completely stoic about everything.

"Don't." she said quietly. "I'm finding it really hard to be mad at you right now and you talking isn't helping."

He grinned at her, his familiar laugh echoing through the car. "Then don't be mad." He said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"I have to be mad. It's like, _expected_."

He smirked and relaxed back against the seat. "Yeah, but you never did do what was expected."

She snorted and glanced at him the last traces of any anger seeping away. "How would you know?" she retorted playfully. "You haven't seen me in nearly five years!"

He laughed and glanced at her for a second before smirking to himself, eyes on the road. "My brother e-mails."

"Stefan e-mails you?" she laughed softly. They had never gotten on, even as kids. They had a strained relationship, her and Stefan. It was toleration at the most; they crossed paths constantly, even now. Damon and Elena had of course drifted, but Lexi, one of her closest friends, was dating Stefan and her little brother had always been close with him.

He shrugged. "Well I e-mail him and he's required to reply."

"Why'd you e-mail him? _Surely_ it's not out of choice."

"I like to know how my best friend is getting on. In fact, the last e-mail I got said - Stefan's words not mine: _Elena's the same as always. Annoying as hell doing whatever she damn wants and not one person questions her for it." _He said, in a poor imitation of his brother's voice.

She burst out laughing. "It's true, no one does question me anymore."

He glanced at the clock and pressed down on the accelerator. Clearly they were late. "That's what I did. Glad to hear no one stole my job."

"No one else could do it with me getting mad at them." She said matter of factually.

He slowed down and pulled up outside a large modern sky rise block in the center of New York. "Tah-dah." He said, all false bravado. "Go get em' kid."

She rolled her eyes and smacked him sharply on the chest and swung gracefully out of the car and waved goodbye to him. She could be mad at him when she got home, but right now she was still mostly in denial. The surreal sense that nothing had ever changed was dawning on her slowly and the fact was: she didn't like it.

People change, grow and move away; they head out to explore the world and old bridges are burned. Her Damon bridge had been well and truly torched until about twenty minutes ago when she stepped off a plane and into a New York terminal to find it wasn't torched, just under construction for a while.

"Bye Elena." He called out of the window, sliding his sunglasses onto his nose. Seriously, who wears sunglasses in New York in October? He focused his eyes on the road again and she watched him until the dark car slid out of her view.

"Go get em', kid." She muttered to herself, as she took a deep breath and stepped foot through the glass doors.

* * *

"It's been a pleasure, Miss Gilbert!" Mr. Bridget gushed sickeningly after a tense interview. She snorted mentally. More like interrogation.

Elena nodded pleasantly, smiling at the man sitting across form her.

James Bridget had that air of superiority about him; the kind you get when the man had worked his way up from rock bottom and lost every moral and standard he ever had to his name. He leant back against his dark leather chair and clasped his hands behind his head, smirking knowingly at her. He was an easily forgettable man in theory. Bland eyes, grey hair and his grey suits to match but the smirk and confidence radiating from him made Elena sit up and take notice. This was the man who could make or break her career – and it looked like he was on the verge of making it.

"I, myself, had doubts about your abilities when Miss Forbes recommended you but I must say, you've well and truly won me over!"

Elena bit back a smile. It had never clicked that Caroline worked for Miller Publishing. The Bridget half of the company had been what registered in her mind since that was the side that handled the Advertising department.

"I'm glad to hear that, sir." Elena said happily. The prospect of working with Caroline was both daunting and exhilarating at the same time.

Mr. Bridget stood up grinning and held out his hand for her to shake. She grasped it firmly and smiled genuinely at him. "Congratulations, Miss Gilbert, the position is yours."

Her smile stiffened slightly. "Thank you sir, but it's such a large change-" she trailed off for a second, hoping he would catch the gist.

"Oh! Of course I don't expect your decision right away, when you return to Virginia, can I expect your answer then?"

She nodded gratefully. As amazing as this opportunity was, giving an answer on the spot that required so much change was a little too much. "Yes sir. Thank you so much Mr. Bridget!" she squealed, letting a little excitement spill through.

"It's our gain, Miss Gilbert. It'll be a pleasure having you here."

She nodded, shook his hand once more and walked strongly out of the office.

"Elena!" an excited voice screamed from her left. She whipped her head around in time to see a flash of blonde hair and bright pink. However, she didn't have time to prepare for Caroline launching herself into her arms. She tottered backwards in her high heels, panicking. Falling flat on her back would not be a good first impression.

"Care!" She said, laughing when she regained her balance. "You ruined my surprise." She pouted sadly. She'd wanted to find out where Caroline lived and charge into her house screaming, or something equally dramatic.

"Well, Bridget ruined mine clearly." she replied, pouting even more, her lip quivering. Caroline had the look down to a tee.

"I wanted to break into your apartment." She admitted shamelessly to her best friend. Caroline erupted in giggles and engulfed her in another hug.

"You should have. It's amazing." Her eyes widened. "Elena! Did you get the job or not?"

"Yes, Care, I got the job." She said grinning.

Caroline cheered, bouncing excitedly in her hot pink four-inch platforms. "You're so lucky. The advertising apartments are so much nicer that the publishing ones."

"I get an apartment?" she said incredulously. This job really was a one in a lifetime opportunity.

"Yes! And you get-" Caroline was suddenly all set to begin a one hundred mile an hour speech about the pros of this job when a sweet faced receptionist interrupted them.

"Caroline? Elena's supposed to go to her hotel apparently. Her driver's getting mad – you know how Bridget does it. He finds some guy who gets on his nerves and ropes him into driving people about for the day." She turned to Elena and pulled a face. "They don't even work here half the time!"

Elena suddenly spun round to glare at Caroline. "You are so dead when I next see you. Just so you know."

Caroline raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow and crossed her arms defiantly. "Oh yeah? What did I do this time?"

"So you don't know who my driver is?" she said, fighting the urge to smile smugly in Caroline's face.

"No." Caroline said slowly. "How have I done something wrong exactly?

Elena stuck out her tongue childishly and waved goodbye to both girls as she pressed the button to call the elevator. The smiled her most infuriating smile until the elevator doors were about to shut.

She watched Caroline's jaw drop as she uttered the two most unexpected words.

"Damon Salvatore."

* * *

"How was it?" Damon asked enthusiastically the second she stepped out of the elevator.

"Did you wait here the whole time?" Elena asked skeptically, eyeing the seats positioned around the lobby.

"Driver duty." He said grimly. "I get roped in more than I'd like to admit."

"So I heard." She said laughing softly. "So why does my new boss hate you?"

Damon's smile split across his face in a nanosecond. In another, he had picked her up in a bear hug and was spinning her around the room. "Lena's moving to New York!" he cheered loudly, squeezing her tight.

"Slow down, bucko, I didn't give him an answer yet!" she said firmly, prodding him sharply in the chest as he set her down on her feet.

Damon's face fell. "You're not taking it?" he asked, disappointment clouding her voice.

Elena crossed her arms and leant against a pillar in the lobby. She knew she was going to take the job. The only thing that could stop her was a serious change of plans or if Bridget retracted the offer. She smirked a devious plan forming in her mind.

"I'm not sure." She said sadly, looking out the open doors. "It's such a big move. It's a big decision. And I don't know if New York's really for me." Truth, Truth_, lie._

Damon grinned suddenly, his striking eyes lighting up mischievously as he mimicked her stance against the pillar. "Come on." He said, pushing himself off the pillar and heading towards the door.

"And where are we going?" she asked curiously, following Damon through the throng of the crowds as he weaved his way through the streets.

He stopped suddenly on a street corner and held his arms out wide, forcing her to take in her surroundings. New York really was a beautiful city. The atmosphere just jumped out at you. The lights of the sky rise blocks made up for the lack of stars and the typical yellow cabs clogged the streets. The masses of people during a Friday night rush hour and the roar of cars was such a vast difference to the quiet of her hometown is actually felt good.

He grinned at her when she finally looked back at him, her eyes wide and bright in the darkening light. He spun round, acting like a child in the snow, laughing brightly.

"I'm going to sell you on New York."

* * *

Outfits for every chapter from now on:

Polyvore: itstartedwithaswhiper .polyvore .com

Awks, I made a typo. 'Swhiper' LOL, that's embarrassing.


	3. The Little Things

"_Remember when we stayed up, watched the sunrise as it came up?"_

* * *

"How do you plan on doing that?" Elena asked, laughing playfully, her eyes shining against the lights.

Damon laughed loudly, throwing his arms around her and pulling her close. He didn't answer her, he just flashed her a quick smile. The same smile she'd been craving the last five years – it was her smile. The one he only wore on his face, very rarely, around her.

"Damon!" she shouted after him, watching as he sauntered away from her, walking slowly so she could keep up.

Damon whirled around and grabbed her hand and began dragging her along a street. He stopped short on a street corner and rested his hands on her shoulders, grinning so widely it was a shock even for her.

"Close your eyes." He said, leaving no room for argument.

"Damon!" she whined futilely when his hands clamped over her eyes. "I can't see!"

"That's the point, silly." He snorted at her and spun her round, and pushed her forwards. Her feet carried her automatically, and her mind concentrated whole-heartedly on not tripping in her platform heels and landing flat on her face. "Okay." His voice was practically bursting with excitement as he drew his hands away. "Where are we?"

She stared at the dark green, half closed shutters in front of her nonplussed and shrugged cluelessly. "In front of green shutters. Wow Damon, I'm _really_ sold."

"Oh shut up." He snapped and dropped to a crouch, checking under the shutters for a quick second before dropping to the floor and rolling underneath, messing up his pristine suit while he was at it. She sighed and crouched down to talk to him.

He was crouching on the floor, on the other side of the shutters grinning infuriatingly at her. "Any time today, Elena."

She scowled at his before crouching awkwardly and rolling under the shutters. She stood up shakily on her high heels and tottered slightly. She huffed, ripped off her shoes and shoved them into Damon's chest.

"You carry them." She snapped, crossing her arms stubbornly.

"Just like old times then." He grinned as he hooked her shoes over one of his hands and took her hand firmly in his other. "Close your eyes and trust me."

* * *

"We're going to get caught, Damon!" Elena moaned as she stumbled up yet another flight of stairs.

She heard Damon's soft laughter as he clamped his hand over her mouth and shoved her, as gently as a shove can be, into the door leading outside.

"Ow! What the he- why's is so cold?" She said, perplexed as her eyes snapped open. For the first time, in a long time, Elena Gilbert was stunned into silence.

"There's a reason nobody wears skirts in September here, Elena." Damon said grinning, resting his hands lightly on her shoulders.

"How did you find this place?" she whispered quietly, staring around in awe.

"Do you remember, way back when you were about sixteen or so?" he asked slowly, trying to wrap around the idea of explaining how he'd found this little slice of New York's skyline.

Elena made a noise of agreement and moved forward to lean against the waist high wall that wrapped around the roof of the skyscraper. The view in the darkening sky was enthralling. The setting sun flashed the sky with shots of orange and red, while the glow of the streetlamps began rising out of the city.

"And you were mad 'cause you wanted to go hiking? And you moaned at me for a whole day before you convinced me to spend the day driving around to find some stupid little hill you'd be told about?"

Elena was grinning widely now, trying to stop her laughter slipping out. Of course she remembered that day. She'd wanted to go hiking for weeks and of course, around Mystic Falls there was only one possible hike to do and the climb to the Falls was something she'd done a thousand times over. She had gone to Damon and moaned and whined and badgered him until he gave in and agreed to take her hiking.

"And then we got stuck in the mud and spent the night and most of the next day trapped in the car with the whole town out searching for us." Damon finished slyly. He'd always hold a grudge. He always had and no doubt always would hold that little trip against her.

"What's your point?" she asked, laughing brightly. "That's nothing relevant to how you found this."

"Shh!" he said, his eyes wide and playful. "I'm not done!" Elena mimed zipping her lips closed and sat down against the wall she had previously been leaning against. "You said you wanted to find a mountain top where you could stand on it and see the whole world beneath your feet."

She glowed with delight and before she could stop herself, ran over the Damon and threw herself into his arms. Damon's arms tightened around her, and she could swear she could feel his heart beating rapidly out of his chest. She could swear she felt his breath hitch in his throat.

"You found my mountain top!" she squealed, hugging him tightly and quickly before darting off to race over to the edge of the sky.

* * *

"Times square? How clichéd." Elena noted dryly, trying not to let the bubbling excitement show.

"It's clichéd all right, but there are some places in New York that you see differently when you live here."

Elena circled slowly, transfixed on all the lights shining and the loud atmosphere, that was bringing everything to life.

"And I have to take you to Queens, Brooklyn, Manhattan-" he continued, his eyes sparkling wildly. Something shimmered beneath the endless ocean blue; something she remembered yet had never put any thought to before now. It was the same way her brother looked at Bonnie. It was adoration. It was playfulness and laughter. It was sparks and desire. It was something that looked a lot like love.

She pushed the thought to the side. She wouldn't think about that. She _couldn't_ think about that, so she did what she had always done; she pushed the thought away and buried it, along with her own feelings, in the deep caverns of her mind.

"God Elena," he sighed, the excitement gushing straight through her. "There is so much you have to see. You were _made_ to be here."

"I was, was I?" she asked skeptically, butting her shoulder into his. "What if you weren't here? What if you'd stayed in Mystic Falls instead of buggering off five years ago?"

Damon's eyes saddened. "I would have ended up here. With you." He murmured quietly. She almost missed his next words because of the hustle and bustle of Times Square. "We were meant to find each other, Lay."

She stopped short, her mind unable to comprehend the words coming out of his mouth. She wouldn't open that door – it would remain shut until she was ready to cross that threshold. She took a deep ragged breath and looked around slowly. He was right – he always was. This was a city that was made for her, the lights, the noise, and the people. It was a somewhere she could lose her old self, and create an entirely new person. It was what she needed.

She frantically searched her brain for something important to say to break the ever-increasing silence. Once, she would have simply brushed it off with a joke and a playful teasing but the sincerity of his words made the ready-made joke die on her lips.

"Come on. One more place I've got to show you."

* * *

"This is where you kill me, isn't it?" she asked giggling, following Damon through an abandoned building, complete with the shattered glass and graffiti covered walls.

Damon didn't reply. He just gently took her hand and linked it with his, slowly leading through her through the maze of derelict concrete.

"How did you find this place?" she breathed out quietly as the moonlight lit up the water, away from the orange glow of the streetlamps and the noise of the city, and made it sparkle in the eerie light.

They were standing in what may have been an old courtyard, or work yard. The grey stone was faded and dull, only broken by patches of graffiti and the dim moonlight glinting off broken glass. The stone square looked directly onto water, deep, endless water. She could see the outline of Brooklyn Bridge in the background. She smiled slightly – just a slight twitch of her lips.

"I wandered a lot." He said, his hands deep in his pockets as he made his way to the edge of the pathway. She hung back, watching his silently. He cut a striking figure against the early morning sky with the dim orange glow illuminating the horizon. "I was lost for a while."

"And now?" she said; now standing beside him.

"I think I'm okay." Damon stared out at the water, the orange glow basking the place is a soft light. The harsh lights of the street lamps suddenly turned soft and magical, and all together unique. "What about you?"

She leant against the railings leading down to the lower levels. "I'm still figuring it out."

Damon flashed Elena her favorite crooked smirk and let his eyes light up her world. She smiled and leant her forehead against his chest and closed her eyes gently. She was straining to hear noises, anything, just a sign of life in this little corner of seclusion.

"I'll explain one day." He said, into the empty night. "I promise."

She nodded quietly, a sudden wave of exhaustion overcoming her. "One day."

He smiled. He just smiled – no underlying emotions or ulterior motives. It was just a smile. She realized with a heavy heart this wasn't the Damon who had left her behind. Of course, his essential qualities, the pure essence of what made him, him was still there but the other things, the little things had changed. She didn't know him the way she used to – and he didn't know her. Not anymore.

"Do I even know you any more?" she said, her voice coming out a small whisper. He had to look away, his eyes painful.

"I like to think you do."

"Do you even know me?"

She saw his jaw clench and his knuckles tighten on the railing. "I don't know anymore. I thought it did," he frowned and finally met her gaze. "Now I'm not sure anymore."

Elena sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. "Enough heavy for one night?" she asked hopefully, grinning a little when he sighed and rolled his eyes. Just that little familiar reaction to an old habit made her feel more comfortable.

"For _you_ maybe." He said, pouting slightly. He glanced at his watch. "uh, we should probably head back."

"Why?" she asked curiously.

"It's a little after four a.m." he replied rather sheepishly. "

She giggled and wound her fingers through his easily. "It happens every time we go out!" she exclaimed laughing. "Every damn time!"

"I made you late once, _maybe_ twice at the most!" he retorted defensively.

"You have no idea how long it took me to get out of them grounding me." She said, narrowing her eyes. "Jenna threatened me with a month. She only let me off because she knew I'd sink back without you." Her voice trailed off at the end, unsure of how the conversation had taken such a turn.

Damon let go of her hand and wrapped an arm around her to pull her close as they walked back to the car. "You didn't, did you?" he asked softly, panic showing through his intense blue eyes.

"What?"

"Did you?" he pushed anxiously. "Sink back? Without me." He clarified, his hands running through his hair. A simple habit he'd always had for when he was worried.

She forced herself to hold his intense gaze. Yes. That was the answer. She had sunk back into her numb stage after her parents had died after Damon had left. She snapped herself out of it, but the pain of the three people who meant the most to her leaving with no warning had hurt a lot deeper than she'd thought.

"No." she said, looking away. The fierce honesty in his eyes would only emphasis her lies.

Damon nodded once, her jaw tense. He didn't believe her – of course he didn't believe her. He knew her better than anyone else. He could read her like an open book.

"That's good." He said emptily, glancing at her for a second. "We should go."

"Yeah." She agreed, her weary body was aching from walking around all-day and flying across the country.

He smiled so incredibly sweetly at her then that she started backwards in shock.

"What?" he asked self-consciously. "What I do?" he whined, pouting, turning on the puppy dog eyes to full level.

She shook her head grinning. "That was the sweetest smile I've ever seen on your face." She said, suddenly shy.

Damon looked away, refusing to meet her eyes. He knew exactly what smile she was talking about. Just because she hadn't seen it, he had worn it constantly. Caroline, Stefan, Bonnie – _everyone_ used to comment on how cute it made him look when they caught him staring after Elena with that same smile. She had never seen it because, after years of practice, he could turn it into his signature smirk in less than a heartbeat.

"You just never caught me looking at you before." He said, almost painfully quiet. Elena couldn't believe her ears. Damon Salvatore, her best friend since they could barely walk, was being, _sweet_? To her?

"Stop looking at me like that." He said grumpily as they stepped out of the cab outside her hotel for the night.

She mentally shook herself and rearranged her face. "Come inside." She demanded, her hands on her hips. He knew better than to argue with her now, unfortunately, he'd learned the hard way.

* * *

"I love New York." She stated sincerely as she walked into her room for the first time. Bridget & Miller didn't hold back when they wanted a new employee. They had secured a penthouse for Elena in one of the best hotels in the city. The view of the early morning sun through the all glass wall on one side of the room still looked amazing to him, even after the amount of times he'd seen a similar view.

He loosed his tie and peeled of his jacket as he settled onto the bed, watching the lightening city.

Elena joined him soon afterwards, dressed in a loose t-shirt and short cotton shorts. She threw something grey and soft at him.

"Isn't this mine?" he asked skeptically as he inspected the man's shirt he was holding.

"Yep." She replied easily, stretching out and slipping under the covers and staring out the window in awe. "Just sleep in that and your boxers."

He didn't bother asking why she had it. He'd never get a straight answer anyway. He kicked off his trousers and replaced the uncomfortable shirt with the t-shirt that smelled softly of Elena and home.

"That's my girl, she always thinks of everything," he said proudly as he nestled down under the duvet beside her. Elena made a noise of agreement. He followed her gaze out of the window and stayed quiet, only talking occasionally, and somehow, when the sun finally came up, he was holding her in his arms, exactly where he thought she was meant to be.


	4. Wetsuit

"_With a cool, cool breeze and dirty knees, I rest on childhood memories. We all got old at breakneck speed, slow it down go easy on me."_

_-Wetsuit_

* * *

Elena sluggishly pulled into an underground parking lot and slumped dejectedly over the steering wheel. She hated driving alone, now she wished she'd accepted everyone's various offers to drive up with her, instead she'd faced the journey from Mystic Falls to New York alone and now, she was sworn of driving for life.

She glanced at the piece of paper in her hand and triple-checked the address on the information sheet James Bridget had e-mailed to her two weeks ago when she accepted the job. She opened the car door and stood up painfully, feeling the soreness in her muscles. With a half-hearted glimpse at her car, chock-full of her things, she slammed her door shut, locked the car and made her way wearily upstairs to her apartment.

Bridget had told her that as long as she was on a contract with them, she lived in her apartment at a discounted rent , but he had said nothing about the state of the apartment. She hoped she wouldn't have to furnish it, it was too draining for her, and she prayed there would at least be some bare essentials of food there when she arrived.

The key slid into the lock easily, and as she turned the handle she was shocked by the enormity of the gorgeous apartment in front of her.

"Oh my god." Elena muttered to herself as she kicked the door shut with her food.

Suddenly, she wished she'd simply flown here. Her apartment was fully furnished with modern, expensive looking furniture. All her things from home suddenly seemed so pointless; she doubted she would even find a place for much of it. There was dark wood flooring throughout with warm cream-colored or chocolate brown walls where there wasn't dark red brick showing through. She grinned triumphantly to herself; this was so much better than she could have imagined. The view was similar to the one she had in the first hotel she stayed in, only the window was on a smaller scale.

Elena retreated to find her bedroom and collapsed onto the bed, almost dropping off to sleep just leaning on the comforter. She rolled over and sat up slowly, noticing what looked like a cardboard box with her name written on it.

She sighed and reluctantly moved from the very comfortable bed and grabbed the thick card with writing on it.

_Since you'll be too lazy to buy food – Damon _

She chuckled lightly as she rummaged through the box of goodies. It had nearly everything from bread to strangely enough, pickle. She _hated_ pickles. With a passion.

She snatched her phone and dialed his number, tapping her foot impatiently.

"Pickles, really?" she demanded the second the dialing tone stopped.

"Hello to you too, dear." Damon mocked grinning. "I must say, I do like your apartment. I'm only warning you once, I'll probably end up crashing on your couch." She could almost picture his suggestive look when he spoke the next sentence. "Or your bed. I'm not fussy."

"Oh, I know your not." She laughed. "I've seen half the women you've slept with."

"Why do you assume I'm still a man whore?" he exclaimed indignantly. "I could be in a completely monogamous relationship."

Elena started to howl with laughter without meaning to. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she gasped uncontrollably. "I've stopped." She said with forced seriousness.

"I resent that." He said dryly, but she knew he would be smirking on the other end of the phone.

"Being called a man whore or my hysterics at you being monogamous?" she sniggered.

"Mostly the hysterics. I, for you information, am still a man whore."

"It's nice you're proud of your title, Damon."

"What you doing later?' he asked suddenly.

She sat back down on her new, extremely comfortable bed. "Well, I should be unpacking but I doubt that'll happen."

"Nope." he stated, mischievously. "I'll see you in two hours." And then he hung up.

Elena stared at the phone is disbelief. He expected her to look even slightly less hideous with only two hours to prepare? She dropped her phone and darted back downstairs towards her car.

She flipped open and trunk and scowled at the arrangement. She'd had it all perfectly arranged; she had know where everything was and how to get to everything and them, bam, Jeremy had decided her packing abilities sucked and had already unloaded the whole load before she caught him.

She finally located the first of her suitcases, and began digging it out of the surrounding boxes and bags. She hauled it out at last and quickly checked inside to make sure it was the right one, and frantically shoved her larger makeup collection on top of the box containing her shoes.

With some difficulty Elena was soon back in her apartment, showered, and dressed in a towel in record time. Just when she was adding the finishing touches to her hair and makeup her cellphone chimed irritatingly.

She huffed and grabbed it from the bed.

_D: You have fifteen minutes. _

She glared at her phone and attacked her suitcase, finally dragging on a semi casual outfit and laid out a couple pairs of shoes depending on how dressed up Damon was. Heels would dress any outfit up, and the scuffed up old combat boots would immediately dress it down.

Elena sat down heavily on the sofa, relaxing into the plush leather. She smiled to herself. This apartment was perfect and required next to no work; the only changes she planned on making were to her bedroom and adding some accessories.

She started in shock and sat bolt upright as her front door swung open suddenly, revealing her dark haired friend looking as gorgeous as ever.

"You know, most people knock." She said, standing up and wrap her arms around him tightly. It had been two weeks since she had seen him, and compared to the five years, the two weeks had gone by excruciatingly slowly. Maybe it was because she knew she was coming back to him.

Damon chuckled and pulled her into a bone-crushing hug. "I offered to take the spare key to you." He explained smugly.

She pulled back and eyed him knowingly. "I'm never getting that key back, am I?"

"Nope." He said grinning infuriatingly.

She smacked him playfully and glanced at him up and down, debating whether he was casual or formally dressed.

"Where are we going tonight?" she asked innocently, once she was unable to gain any clues from his clothes.

"It's a surprise."

"Damon!"

"Elena!" Damon grinned back mockingly. "Wear the heels." He said finally, glancing at her knowingly.

She shook her head and slipped on her shoes, and standing up, frowning slightly when he was still taller than him. She smirked to herself, noticing they were the exact right height for each other.

"Let's go!" he cheered enthusiastically, dragging her out the door.

* * *

"Where the hell are we?" Elena moaned grumpily. "Why couldn't you be boring, anti-social Damon tonight? We could have stayed in and watched TV all night." She had been grumpy ever since he had decided she wasn't dressed 'dressy enough' and insisted she change clothes.

"Now who's being boring and anti-social?" He asked sarcastically as he pulled into a parking lot for a modern looking apartment building not far from Elena's new home. Damon jumped out of the car and circled round, opening Elena's door for her like the southern gentleman he wasn't.

She smiled teasingly at him and took his offered hand and jumped daintily out of the car. She wobbled slightly on the uneven tarmac and her infectious laughter bubbled straight through him. How had he survived so long without her? He wondered in awe. If there were any girl he would want to live forever with, it would be Elena. Whether in a romantic light, the way he saw her no matter how hard he tried to fight it or strictly platonically the way Elena viewed their relationship, he would be happy to have her in his life for as long as possible.

Damon recovered quickly and held her hand tightly and marched stubbornly through the parking lot and unfamiliar hallways until they reached a unmemorable wooden door, that the loud beat of dance music and distinctive din on a party was currently leaking under.

"A party Damon." Elena said disbelievingly. "A party? I just got here today! Like, literally three hours ago!" she whined ineffectually at him.

Damon smirked and walked straight into the apartment, leading her towards the only familiar face for her.

"Elena!" the blonde squealed, charging towards her, surprisingly fast considering those shoes. He always found it dumbfounding how girls managed to balance in those five-inch monstrosities.

"You look so," Caroline paused, her drunken mind struggling to find a word to sum up Elena. Damon had to admit; he even had problems with finding that word when he was stone cold sober. "Cute!" she finally announced, looking exceptionally pleased with herself. "You look cute. Like, Elena cute. Like, it's not sexy-cute – which you totally are by the way – it's cute-cute."

The drunken blonde continued to ramble on for such a long time eventually Elena had to grit her teeth and bail.

"And you didn't rescue me because?" she asked furiously when she finally escaped Caroline, leaving her rambling to some poor guy about 'cuteness'

"I might've gotten roped in," he said reasonably, throwing back strong gulps of bourbon.

"Is that bourbon?" Elena asked, wrinkling her nose. "When did you get so old?"

Damon smiled sadly at her and threw back the rest of his drink and set it down on the ground. "Look at us, Lena. We're sitting at a party having a _conversation_ while there is alcohol present. We _all_ got old so fast."

"We all got old at breakneck speed, slow it down go easy on me." She sang, giggling at the look of exasperation on his face.

"I regret showing you that band." He said, utterly serious. "You've been singing that album on repeat for the last five years, huh?"

"Go easy on me-e-e-e-e-e-e! Oh oh oh oh oh o-oh!" she sang louder, cheering loudly when Caroline screamed it back from across the room.

"Wanna know the sad thing?" he said wearily, grabbing the bottle of bourbon from behind him.

"Nope, but go on." She said, laughing happily as she slouched down next to him on the sofa with her head resting casually in his lap. He struggled not to squirm, but truth be told, having Elena this close and this free and this happy so near him after such a long period of time… He was out of practice of ignoring his feelings for her.

"You," he laughed at her playfully as he flicked her face gently, "Aren't even drunk."

Elena smiled, "No. I'm just happy."

"Happy, huh?"

"Yeah." She stretched, making him squirm as her top rode up to reveal a few inches of her tanned stomach. "I'm happy."

Out of reflex, he wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head – an action he had mimicked so many times throughout the years. "Good. Means I'm doing my job right."

She scoffed and sat up suddenly, prodding him harder than necessary in the chest. "Doing your job well now is void after five years." She snapped, sadness and anger mingling to make his heart ache in his chest.

"Elena." He pleaded, "You do not want to have this conversation in the middle of a party."

"Maybe not. But I want to have this conversation." Elena hissed at him, her voice shaking. "You were gone five fucking years, Damon! Not even you get off without an explanation!"

Damon stood up, scowling furiously and grabbed her hand and linked his fingers with hers. She glared at him, but held his grip all the same. She followed without question back out the party, avoiding the odd looks they were attracting; only minutes ago they were curled up on the sofa like the perfect couple to an outsider and now they now looked like they were on the verge of breaking up.

The ride back to Elena's was tense. Tense beyond words to describe the situation. He had promised her an explanation and Elena, stupid, amazing, stubborn-as-hell Elena was going to make sure she got it.

She stormed violently back to her home and flung open the door and leant against one of the brick walls, her eyes glinting dangerously. Although, the seriousness of having to have this conversation was slowly dawning on him, the image of Elena, leaning against a wall, in her tight jeans, high heels and leather was all too sexy for him to care about much else.

Damon looked away and shoved his hands in his pockets. "How do I even start explaining?" he yelled, mostly to himself.

"Why did you leave?" she fired at him viciously.

"God, Elena, I promised you a damn explanation! You're going to get one, give me a minute to figure out where to start!" he yelled at her.

"You've had five years! I'm sure the reason's been the same the whole time!"

He spun round leant face first against the wall. His forearm was resting against the wall and his forehead was leaning on it wearily. He punched the wall as gently as he could manage. He'd never wanted to relive that time in his life.

"Damon-!" Elena started, in what he called her 'I'm-so-pissed-at-you' voice.

"Katherine was pregnant!" Damon exploded out, whipping round to face her, his blue eyes blazing.

Elena stopped short. Mostly, due to the words the man in front of her had just uttered, but party due to the sheer shock and realization at how truly beautiful Damon Salvatore was.

"She was pregnant." Elena breathed out, shell-shocked. "You got her pregnant and you skipped town. You both skipped town and came here."

"Wrong." He said maliciously, anger flooding through him now. "She was pregnant. She turned up at my door in floods of tears, showing me a pregnancy test."

Elena stayed silent, sinking to the floor and running her fingers through her loose hair. Damon has a child. The reality of the situation hit her and she became fully aware of how different the man across from her was.

"Damon." She said softly, her eyes flooded with emotion. "You-" she gulped and messed with her hair some more. "She-"

"It wasn't my fucking baby!" he bellowed, pacing restlessly around the room. "She was fucking cheating on me. She cheated on me and got knocked up!"

Elena covered her mouth with a shaking hand. Damon linked his hands behind his head and walked in restless circles around her apartment. She remembered Katherine Pierce – and her relationship with Damon. It was one of those vicious circle relationships. They fought, broke up, got back together. And then the cycle repeated. She had screamed at Damon to get rid of her but he never did – and neither did she. For him, it was the sex and the drama. For her, it was having Damon Salvatore on her arm. While they were never serious, Elena knew Damon had cared about Katherine. He cared about her for reasons she would never undertstand.

"She let me believe for seven months that was my baby until we're sitting in my shitty apartment arguing over everything and we're ready to call it the end. I was so scared Elena. She wanted to leave Mystic Falls and I couldn't leave her alone. All I wanted was to run home and have everything be okay but I was facing a future with a child and Katherine forever linked to me."

Damon broke off and punched her sofa viciously. "Then the father comes running into the place, screaming the place down, saying he was ready to step up and be a father." He broke off, shaking his head, whether out of anger or disbelief he wasn't sure.

Elena pushed herself up off the floor and hesitantly made her way towards Damon. He looked up and his piercing blue eyes, so clouded with pain and anger she stepped back in shock.

"It was Stefan's baby, Elena." He said quietly, his voice completely broken. "My own brother."

Her mouth dropped other unattractively. "But he's in Mystic Falls." She stated the obvious.

"I know. That's one of the reasons I couldn't go back." His calmness disappeared and he began his restless pacing once more. "Katherine miscarried. She miscarried the baby I believed for seven whole months was my own, but was in fact my brother's." Damon leant his forehead against the wall and clasped his hands behind his head again. "She had a little boy, Elena."

Elena couldn't take it anymore. She went to him and pulled him away from the wall and wrapped her small arms around his torso. To lose a child was heart wrenching, to lose a child at nineteen was even harder. To lose a child you believed was yours but was in fact your brother's was the kind of thing that nestled in your heart and stayed with you forever, stabbing a little thorn of doubt into every little thing in your life.

"So that's why you never came back." Elena said, finally breaking the icy silence stretching between them.

"Don't." Damon said in a pained voice. "Just don't."

Elena stared at him confused. "Don't what?"

"Don't make me regret it anymore than I already do." He snapped, breaking away from her embrace and moving to the opposite side of the room.

"Regret what?" she asked bewildered. "Leaving?"

"Yes!" he shouted. "Look what I missed out on!" he gestured to her. "I missed out on _everything_ to do with you. I upped and left you after your parents died! I didn't even tell you!"

"I know you did, Damon!" she bellowed back at him. "Do you think I didn't realize you weren't there? Those months were so much harder without you there!"

Damon charged across the room and caged her against a wall with both his arms on either side of her head. "What do you want me to say? That I wish I hadn't left? Of course I wish I hadn't left!" he all but shouted in her face.

"What's your problem?" she hissed at him, trying her hardest to ignore how turned on she was by him.

"My problem?" he laughed incredulously. "You're my problem! You're like a drug! Five years sober and now, one day permanently back in my life and boom, I'm a fucking addict again!"

"You're the one who left! You're the one who convinced me to move here!" she snapped, her brown eyes blazing with anger.

"If I hadn't left I could still be as good at ignoring how gorgeous you are – how fucking _sexy_ you are – as I was five years ago!"

Elena leant her head back against the wall, keeping her gaze locked with his. They were both breathing heavily now.

"Oh, fucking hell." Damon cursed violently, before attacking her lips with his.

* * *

**POLYVORE: ** .com


	5. Last Night I Dreamt

A/N: I am about to rip my hair out. I've had this chapter completely for days and saved under 'What Is This? Chp. 4' and because this is technically the _5th_ chapter going up, it never clicked I hadn't uploaded! Ugh. I am so sorry! Lesson learned, trust me.

And seriously, I blushed while proof-reading this. Someone _please_ review and tell me this is okay.

* * *

**Chapter 4**

"_I'm a good friend and an excellent lover."_

* * *

"_What's your problem?" she hissed at him, trying her hardest to ignore how turned on she was by him._

"_My problem?" he laughed incredulously. "You're my problem! You're like a drug! Five years sober and now, one day permanently back in my life and boom, I'm a fucking addict again!"_

"_You're the one who left! You're the one who convinced me to move here!" she snapped, her brown eyes blazing with anger._

"_If I hadn't left I could still be as good at ignoring how gorgeous you are – how fucking sexy you are – as I was five years ago!"_

_Elena leant her head back against the wall, keeping her gaze locked with his. They were both breathing heavily now. _

"_Oh for fuck's sake." Damon cursed violently, before attacking her lips with his._

* * *

Elena moaned into his mouth involuntarily and yanked his body closer to hers. Damon's hand moved from the wall to tangle in her long tresses. She pushed him backwards forcefully until he hit the back of the sofa and tumbled backwards over it. She shed her jacket frantically and began unbuttoning the first few buttons of his shirt.

The end of contact between their lips was so sudden she moaned in frustration, but as Damon's lips found her neck; her complaints were lost in the fuzz her mind was becoming. All rational thought was flying out of the window.

Between being caged to the wall and hitting the sofa, she somehow found her way into his arms with her legs wrapped securely around his waist as he mouth feverishly attacked his. He moved them backwards, biting her bottom lip teasingly.

"We should stop." She gasped breathlessly as he kissed his way across her collarbones.

"Yeah." He murmured in between kisses. "Definitely."

"This is bad." She moaned and her fingers threaded into his unruly black hair and pulled his addicting lips back to hers.

"Very bad." He said, pulling away for only a fraction of a second before kissing along her jaw line.

"This will not end well," she said, breathing deeply as he dropped her onto the bed and pinned her against it with his body.

"This is so stupid." He said, panting as Elena rolled them over so she could straddle him.

Elena gasped as his hands found the bare skin on her hips and brushed them upwards, setting her skin on fire and he slid her shirt over her head leaving her clad only his her bra and jeans. She scowled and began peppering his chest with kisses, moving downwards and unbuttoning his offending shirt as she went. Her mouth moved back to her lips as her hands continued to work at his shirt until his perfectly sculpted chest was revealed to her.

The last five years had done him justice. His shoulders were broader, his chest was more defined and the stubble brushing against her cheek as he trailed his way down between the valley of her breasts, was so unbearably sexy she had a hard time imagining him clean shaven ever again.

She ran her hand up and down his chest, biting his lip, earning a low growl from him.

He couldn't stand it anymore, he flipped them over and within seconds Elena's jeans were on the floor with his following swiftly after.

"Such a bad idea." He said, biting the skin on her neck lightly, tracing his tongue teasingly across her as he ground into her, earning a low moan from her mouth.

He kissed down her stomach, flicking his tongue in and out of her navel. She gasped appreciatively, her breath coming quicker and quicker as he traced his tongue along her hipbone, his warm hands slowly sliding her panties down her legs. As he moved her underwear achingly slowly, his kissed his way down her inner thigh, torturing her cruelly.

"I swear to God…" Elena panted, her hand wound tightly in his hair. He slowed down even more, moving back up to her stomach he restarted his path downwards, taking even longer than before. Finally, his sinful mouth found hers again, momentarily giving her relief. Her small hand slipped between their bodies and slowly rid Damon off his boxers. Her light fingers danced across his abs and trailed down his legs as she teased him to the highest point before she pulled away and attacked his neck and collarbones with her mouth.

"Elena." He gasped as he finally slid himself inside of her. "Jesus." He cursed, finding her lips again.

"Oh god." She cried out into his mouth as he moved against her. He worked her, driving her closer and closer to the edge.

He moved deeper, moaning, involuntarily mirroring the sweet sounds Elena was making.

"Damon!" she cried out, burying her fingers in his hair as she toppled into oblivion.

He followed suit, and pressed his face against the crook of her shoulders as he followed her over the edge.

* * *

Elena rolled over and promptly hit a warm body sleeping in the bed next to her. She sat straight up, a hand covering her mouth.

"Shit." She gasped, running her finger through her hair herself of the knots.

Damon blinked blearily beside her and propped himself up on his elbows. He scanned his surroundings lazily and finally, his icy blue eyes locked onto her gaze.

"Shit!" He cursed, flopping backwards onto the bed. "Shit, shit, shit!" he moaned. His first time with Elena was not supposed to go _anything_ like that. Not that he was complaining of course.

Elena buried her face in her hands and sighed deeply.

"That," she began unsurely.

"Was stupid." He finished for her, sadly. She needed him to think he was on the same page as her.

She nodded. "Exactly! And crazy. And reckless."

"And amazing." He smirked, winking at her. She blushed ten shades of red.

"Damon!" she whined.

Damon shook his head, grinning ear to ear. "Come on, it's a one time thing right?"

She stopped, slightly bewildered. Didn't she think it was only a one-time thing? That's what _he_ thought she thought.

"One time thing." She repeated. "Right."

"You know," he said slowly, catching her gaze. "It doesn't have to be a one night only thing."

Elena burst out laughing and whacked him with a pillow. "Come on! You can't be serious!"

Damon grabbed the pillow and chucked it behind him, moving closer to her. "We've already done it once, why not do it again?"

She chuckled and flicked his ear gently. "Sex kills friendships."

"Ow!" he moaned, rubbing his ear. "That hurt, Lay!"

"Good!"

"Think about it. I'm always getting laid, you just moved here, so obviously you're not gonna be up for a serious relationship straight away, yeah?"

She nodded thoughtfully, leaning back on her hands, the bed sheet only resting lightly across her chest.

"Come on, 'Lena. This is a fresh start for both of us. I get to know the new you, you get to know the knew me," Damon proposed. "In all sorts of ways." he finished, waggling his eyebrows. "One friend to another, let's," he broke off, attempting to put it delicately. He shrugged. "Have sex."

"Do you even like me like that?" Elena scoffed. "Purely curious as to whether you actually think I'm attractive, or if you're just desperate."

Damon laughed loudly. "You're kidding! Course, I find you attractive! Always have." He admitted with a half-hearted shrug.

"Nice to know." She said coyly. "You're not so bad yourself."

"Oh yeah?" he smirked, trying to resist grinning to widely that she seemed to be considering this fucked up idea of his.

She made a noise of agreement. "Go on then, what do you find attractive about me? One friend to another." she mocked.

He smiled softly. "Your smile. I'd never seen a smile so bright before you. I've missed it."

She cocked her head to the side in wonder. "Your eyes. They're the bluest eyes I have ever seen."

"Hair." He shot out, curious if she would say anything else.

"Butt."

"Breasts."

"Lips."

"Legs." He grinned, winking. She rolled her eyes; she knew how much he liked her legs.

"Eyes." She murmured softly, staring at him.

"You said that."

"I meant it." Elena stated matter-of-factly.

"So, is that a yes?" he asked hopefully, leaning forward.

She sighed. "I can't believe I'm agreeing to this!"

He threw his arms in the air in victory, cheering loudly. She smacked him and held her hand out, holding him away from her.

"Woh, buddy. Hold up."

Damon frowned. "Why? What are you doing?" he asked when she held out her pinky, waggling it threateningly.

"Swear it." She demanded. He linked his pinky finger with hers.

"No emotions." She said sincerely, her eyes glinting playfully.

"No relationships." He added, his signature smirk clear all over his face.

"Just sex." She finished triumphantly.

"Swear." He promised her, twisting their hands around so their thumbs were lined up. "Stamp it, silly. You gotta stamp it!"

She shook her head at him, and pressed the pad of her thumb to his, 'stamping' it. "Happy?"

"Exceptionally." Damon said grinning as he dropped her hand and pulled her closer to him, kissing her fiercely.

"I can't believe what I just agreed to." She gasped out against his lips. Elena pulled back and rolled off the bed.

"Hey!" he yelled after her as he watched her naked form saunter teasingly towards the bathroom door. "Where d'you think you're going?"

She half turned back around, grinning slyly at him. "Bathroom. You coming?"

He didn't need any more invitation before he was out of bed and grabbing her around the waist, barreling her backwards into the walk-in shower.

* * *

"Go get dressed." Damon commanded, kissing her shoulder messily.

Elena giggled and got up, wandering into her walk in closet and staring gloomily at the half filled storage space and the many cardboard boxes scattered around. With a lot of shifting boxes and huffing, she was finally dressed presentably and tapping her foot impatiently by the door.

"You took your time." She scolded when Damon finally reappeared outside the bedroom.

He winked at her. "I couldn't find my boxers, so I went commando."

She burst out laughing. Shaking her head, she let herself out the door, throwing her keys in her bag as she went.

Damon hailed a cab, and they climbed in and began the journey to his apartment. However long it had been since they were together for this long before, hadn't changed the foundation of their friendship. It was still based on the crazy, easy going, laughter filled moments it had previously held.

The walked into his apartment in a comfortable silent, and Elena's jaw dropped. If she thought her place was nice, it wasn't on the same standard as Damon's. All dark wood and minimalistic features it was perfect for Damon – her man whore best friend. She wandered further in, the harsh, impersonal feel of the place was disappearing as more and more pictures and personal items came into sight. She grinned, she was featured in several pictures, and somehow, that made her feel amazing.

He wandered back out of his bedroom, redressed, and buzzed her ribs, making her jump and squeal, as she turned around to smack him in the head.

"You know I hate that!"

Damon sighed. "Well, you know what the say. Old habits die hard."

She squinted and finally got a good look at him. "I must say, you've upgraded from all black. I like it." She teased.

He rolled his eyes. "All black is for night time, day wear had been upgraded to shades of grey."

"Good book that." Elena muttered playfully, leaning against a sleek bookcase.

"I hope you're kidding." He said seriously. "You did not read that."

Elena laughed brightly. "Don't be silly, Cara' did. She gave me a play-by-play every time she finished a chapter."

He shook his head and buried his face in his hands. "That's just embarrassing."

"Hey, look on the bright side. Think of all the tips I got." Elena smirked, winking slyly when he jolted his head up to stare at her. She wandered around, moving closer to him. Right as she walked past him, she ducked and pressed a teasing kiss to his neck. "Sorry, it's reserved for relationships only."

She ignored the momentary flash of hurt that graced his eyes. "Then you'll never get to try them out, will you?" he grinned, doing that eye thing that made her want to jump him.

She scowled and stuck her tongue out at him. "I want breakfast." She demanded, sitting herself down at the breakfast bar expectantly.

He sighed and chuckled softly, fishing around in the fridge for the ingredients for pancakes.

There was a quiet knock on the door, and judging by Damon's sigh, he had a pretty good idea who it was. "It's probably Lisa from across the hall, every single morning, she does the walk of shame and forgets her keys. Every_. _Single_. G__oddamned._ Morning."

Elena burst out laughing, and held her hands out to him. "Gimme her spare, I'll save you the hassle."

He sighed and chucked her a set of keys from the kitchen counter. "Life saver."

She wandered over to the door, and swung it open with a large smile on her face, still looking over her shoulder as she talked. "Hey, do you want your keys-"

"Elena." A voice exclaimed, aghast. "What the fuck are _you_ doing here?"

"'Lay, if it's Rose or Nik, tell them I'll call them _later_." Damon shouted through from the kitchen.

"Me?" Elena hissed at the woman in front of her. "What are you doing here?"

Katherine glared at her. "I figured it was time to make amends."

"You don't do amends, Katherine." Elena growled. "You always have an ulterior motive and there's always something to gain for _you_."

Katherine laughed patronizingly. "Aren't you sweet? You finally figured out how to play the world at it's own game."

She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms across her chest. "And that's finding the way to get one up on everyone, every day?"

"Of course it is." Katherine stared incredulously, her knowing smirk marring her face.

"What do you need Damon for then?" she snapped. "Have you found some way to screw him over even more?"

Katherine fluttered her eyelashes innocently. "Never."

"Elena, who the hell-" Damon's tone went form irritable to flat out loathing in the space of a second. "What the fuck do you want?"

"Come on baby, don't be so mad." She cooed, her eyes were hard and cold.

Damon stared her down, meeting her wide, emotionless brown eyes with a cool, unforgiving gaze. "Don't you get it? I want nothing to do with you. I've told you that every time you come within five feet of me."

Elena stared between the two of them, torn between happiness that Damon had finally cut the she-devil loose and pain at the undisguised hurt still lingering because of her.

Damon's hand touched her back slowly, drawing her body closer to his.

"Are you finally with your girl, Damon?" she asked mockingly. "Took her long enough."

Elena scowled, her mind racing. The way she talked about them, it was almost like Katherine knew something she didn't.

"If I did, it's sure as hell not thanks to you."

"I never said I _wanted_ you with her." She snapped viciously.

Damon gritted his teeth and muttered painfully through them. "_Lovely_ talk, Kat. Let this be our last, hmm?" and he slammed the door in Katherine's face.

The silence stretched between them, and for once, she actually considered being the over-obsessive friend who voiced their worries continually. Maybe, sometimes you need to force people to talk.

But still, the silence continued. She sat back in her seat and watched him salvage breakfast.

"Voilà." He said triumphantly and he slid a plate of slightly mangled pancakes in front of her.

"One day," she forced out through a mouthful of food, "You'll manage to make me pancakes properly." She scolded.

He scowled and her and reached defiantly into his fridge and pulled out a box of strawberries and a can of whipped cream.

"Thank you." She said, mock sweetly, as she drenched her food in cream.

"Would you like some more pancakes with that cream?" he asked sarcastically, sitting opposite her, only adding a minute amount of cream to his plate. "I hear it makes it taste better."

"Oh, very funny." She snapped at him, unable to stop herself smiling slightly.

"Definitely." He grinned at her, chewing vigorously. "So what are you doing for the rest of today?"

She squinted at him, confused. So had assumed they would spend the day together. She furrowed her eyebrows together. "I suppose I'll get together with Caroline or something." She shrugged. "Might rope her into helping me unpack. What are you doing?" she asked, as nonchalantly as possible.

"Helping you unpack." He said, making the 'duh' face.

She burst out laughing. "Come on, Care will be looking for any excuse to not tidy up her mess."

* * *

"Elena!" Caroline yelled through the messy apartment. "Where do you want the plates?"

"In a drawer!" Elena shouted back, exasperated. She would never get anything done if she had to answer Caroline's questions every two minutes.

Damon stormed into her now mostly unpacked bedroom. "You!" he pointed at her accusingly. "Go and tell Blondie what to do!"

She rolled her eyes and flitted past him, brushing against him teasingly. "Course." She said sweetly, fluttering her eyelashes playfully.

Damon grabbed her around her waist and pulled her back tight against his chest, muttering in her ear seductively. "Great."

Elena shrugged out of his grasp and scowled angrily.

"You started it!" he exclaimed incredulously, hands up in surrender.

"Come on, Caro had no clue where to put anything."

"Honestly, how many nicknames do you have for the girl? They're never ending." Damon said exasperated.

The wandered through to the kitchen, playful banter flying between them effortlessly, though every joke was heavily laced with innuendos.

"Oh hell no." Caroline said to them, her eyes wide as she sat cross legged on the kitchen counter eating from a tub of ice cream. "Tell me you didn't sleep together."

* * *

POLYVORE: itstartedwithaswhiper (polyvore**dot**com)


	6. Toothpaste Kisses

**Chapter 5**

* * *

'_Cradle me, I'll cradle you, I'll win your heart with a whoop-a-woo'_

_-Toothpaste Kisses_

* * *

"_Oh hell no." Caroline said to them, her eyes wide as she sat cross-legged on the kitchen counter eating from a tub of ice cream. "Tell me you didn't sleep_

_together."_

* * *

Damon glanced at Elena sheepishly as Caroline's mischievous green eyes drilled into them both. Elena coughed awkwardly and ran her hands through her hair.

"You did!" Caroline crowed with delight. She set the ice cream down and leaped of the counter. "You totally had sex!" Caroline was ecstatic by this point, bouncing rapidly on the balls of her feet. "I gotta say, you were slow on the uptake 'Lena. He's been in love with you for what," Caroline glanced at Damon quickly, "Seven, eight years maybe?"

Damon shot Caroline a look. Elena cleared her throat.

Caroline trailed off and glanced between the two other people standing in Elena's kitchen. "Did I say something dumb?"

Elena opened her mouth to speak, but she was unable to find the words.

"We're not _together_, Blondie." Damon said through gritted teeth.

Caroline's mouth dropped open. Elena couldn't help but giggle slightly. Caroline had always been the crazy, adventurous one whereas Elena had been more quiet and reserved, well quiet and reserved compared to Caroline, to others, not so much.

"Wait." Caroline said slowly, glaring at Elena. "You're using each other. For sex."

"Yep." Damon said, smirking, all traces of the previous bitterness gone as if they had never been there.

"Caro, come on-" Elena began, smiling widely at her friend's reaction.

"So she's your sex toy." Caroline said dramatically. "Your fuck buddy." She wailed loudly. "Your friend with benefits. Is that what best friend is to you? Some common _whore_?"

"Blondie!" Damon yelled, waving her hand in front of her face. "It's not what you think-"

Despite Damon claiming to hate Caroline, Elena knew that he didn't want her best friend hating him, so now, he was practically distraught hearing the way Caroline thought he was using her.

Caroline suddenly started giggling hysterically, grinning and smiling like a eight year old. "Gotcha."

"You're a bitch." Damon growled.

Elena, who had been sitting on the counter, was now slumped against it, shaking with violent giggles and unable to form coherent sentences.

"You're just as bad." Damon growled huskily in her ear, tickling her sides like crazy.

"What you going to do to me?" She asked winking, lying flat against the counter with her arms raised above her head.

"Mmm." Damon moaned appreciatively, kissing her neck.

"And on that cue, I'm out." Caroline said loudly. "You kids have fun!"

"Cara'!" Elena yelled.

"I'll get details later! Use protection!" She yelled back.

Damon started laughing. "Oh so now you laugh?" She said smiling as she sat up and shoved him away. "When did you and Caro become so uhm, non hating towards each other?"

"I've introduced her to a guy once or twice, we've been," Damon made a face. "_Friends_ since then."

"God _forbid_!" she gasped sarcastically. She frowned, hearing a phone from her bedroom. "Is that your phone or mine?"

Damon sighed loudly. "I hate iPhones. Seriously. Everyone has the same damn ringtone." He moved away from her and retraced his steps back to the bedroom and answering the incoming call on his mobile.

"Hey Nick, what's up?" he asked, grinning. He had known his friend Klaus, as Nick on and off, ever since Damon had heard his little sister call him it several months ago.

"Drop the nickname, Damon." Klaus cursed through his strong British accent.

Damon chuckled. "_Nick_name." He spluttered through his laughter.

"You're bloody _hilarious_." Klaus said irritably. "Anyway, about Guy Fawkes Night-"

"Say what." Damon said nonplussed. Klaus and his sister Rebekah had moved out to New York a year or so after he had, and Damon had immediately clicked with both of them, but their weird British celebrations just seemed bizarre to him.

"Guy Fawkes Night, Damon. Come on mate, you can't have forgotten."

"The celebration of when a some guy tried to blow up your parliament right?" He said slowly. He was near certain he'd made some mistake.

"Yes, Damon." Klaus said patiently, "Rebekah's birthday. The fifth of November?" he prompted.

"Yeah yeah. Remember, remember the fifth of November, for gunpowder, treason and-" Damon recited before he stopped and frowned. "I can't remember the rest."

"Damon. Seven o'clock. My place. Booze, bonfire and plenty of chicks for the infamous womanizer."

Damon cracked a smile. "I think the womanizer's on hold, man."

"I'll believe it when I see it." Klaus told him dryly. "Who's the girl?"

Damon glanced behind him through his apartment to see Elena sitting quietly, gazing out of the window eating pancakes like she belonged there.

"Her name's Elena." He said softly, smiling slightly as he watched her.

"Elena. I like it." Klaus muttered absently.

"Oh shut up."

"So are you dating?"

Damon sighed. "She's my best friend from back home."

"You're sleeping with your best friend, my god, it's like in a film."

"You're really a girl at heart, did you know that?"

Klaus scoffed. "Seven o'clock, Damon. Bring the girl."

"Bye Klaus." Damon snapped, hanging up abruptly and wandering into the living room to sit with Elena. "We have plans for next Thursday."

Elena cocked her head to the side. "You planned in _advance_? Who are you?"

"I'm Damon." He whispered seductively into her ear.

Elena turned in her seat so face him smirking lightly. "Hi." She murmured huskily.

"This is the best thing that's ever happened to me." Damon grinned and he claimed her mouth in a heated kiss.

"I know right?" Elena laughed lightly as Damon moved from her mouth to her chest, ridding her of her clothes as he went. She moaned lightly as he traced over the thin material of her bra. "Sex with _the_ Damon Salvatore whenever I want?" She yanked his head back to catch his lower lip between her teeth earning a groan from him. "Not a bad deal."

"Mmhm." he moaned, yanking his own shirt and top off of him and throwing is aside in the growing pile of clothes. "Not bad at all."

Elena left a trail of hot kisses down his hard chest as she unbuttoned his jeans and left him to kick them off while he helped her out of her own. He grabbed her waist and pulled her up roughly and attacked her mouth with kisses.

"Less talking." He demanded, breaking away only for a second. Elena moaned, part agreement but mostly pleasure as Damon slid into her, hissing at the sensation as he moved his body with hers, unable to believe after so long waiting and pining and loving only one girl that she was finally the one in his arms.

With every movement and pleasurably sound escaping each of their lips, they each subconsciously acknowledged that when this agreement stopped and the world ceased shattering around them as they toppled into bliss that this agreement would either be the end of a life-long friendship or the beginning of something they both desperately craved.

* * *

"Where are we again?" Elena asked, looking around the large garden dubiously.

"I told you we were going out on Thursday." Damon answered, glancing around impressed. Maybe the Brits didn't have such bad holidays after all.

"Yes." Elena twirled around and grasped the collars of his shirt to bring him down to her level. "Then our _agreement_ distracted me."

Damon chuckled and shoved her face away. Right now, he was the happiest he'd been in years. Elena was his best friend first and foremost, the girl he had sex with second and then underneath everything, she was the girl he was completely, uncontrollably and madly in love with.

"Seriously, where are we?" she asked more seriously taking in the bonfire roaring in the center of the garden. "Are they _fireworks_?" she gasped. "It's way past fourth of July."

"I befriended the Brits." He admitted smirking at Klaus a few feet away from them. He dropped his voice to a stage whisper. "They have some _seriously_ weird holidays."

"It's Guy Fawkes Night." Klaus said, smoothly sliding into the conversation. "Or Bonfire Night. Or Rebekah's birthday." Klaus shrugged out and smiled enchantingly at Elena. "I'm Klaus."

Damon greeted Klaus enthusiastically, though slightly put out by the way he grinned at Elena.

"Hey." She said sweetly, her shy side creeping up.

Damon was looking at her with a soft smile grazing his lips, entranced by the many different sides of Elena Gilbert.

* * *

It was hours later that Elena finally reappeared at his side after she was whisked away by an excited Rebekah to introduce her to everyone.

She was standing in front of him now, her previously straight hair reduced to light waves, her cheeks flushed with cold and her heart warming smile upon her lips as she watched the world go by.

"Hey you." Damon said, grinning as he prodded her in the back with an unlit sparkler.

"That hurt." She pouted, snatching his sparkler and staring at it blankly. "Why didn't you light it?"

Damon shrugged and winked, fishing in his pocket for a lighter and flicked it at the end of the sparkler. "It's a special one. I was saving it for my best friend."

"Oh should I give it to Klaus then?" Elena said, smirking, drawing away mockingly.

Damon's lighter went out and he scooped her up in his arms and twirled her round crazily. "You know you're my best friend. You always will be." He said sincerely, his face just inches from hers.

Just as he was about to move that little bit closer, Elena stuck her tongue out and giggled, snatching the lighter and lighting the sparkler herself.

Damon sighed as he watched her squeal as the sparks erupted fading from gold to red to blue to green. This agreement kept hurting a little bit more as the days wore on. Here he was, the best friend, in love with the only girl who wouldn't love him back the way he needed her to.

He was still gazing at her, torturing himself when Klaus sidled up. "What's the friend zone like?" he asked spitefully.

Damon glared at him. "How's Caroline?" he retorted.

"She wouldn't come tonight because her and Rebekah don't get along." Klaus said sadly.

"Dude, just ask her out already." Damon rolled his eyes, completely exasperated but his friend. He had been in love with the one Caroline Forbes since they met almost a year ago, and he was petrified to make a move.

"When you tell Elena, I'll tell Caroline." He shot back.

"Oh yeah, 'cause that would work out great. 'Hey, I've been in love with you for the past eight years. Just thought you should know!' I've loved that girl for eight years, probably longer, and she fails to notice." he said bitterly.

Klaus shrugged, a small smirk playing on the edge of his lips. "Point taken."

A few feet away, Elena was mid-conversation with Rebekah, who she got on surprisingly well with when she heard a small part of Klaus and Damon's conversation.

'_I've loved that girl for the eight years.'_

Her conversation stopped right there. A strange sensation was coursing through her that she couldn't identify. Damon was in love with someone and had been for over eight years. She took a deep breath and shook the feeling away. He was her best friend, and whatever unresolved feelings she may have for him would just have to be pushed deep and hidden.

"Who you in love with?" She asked cheekily, putting her mask on, hoping that for once, Damon wouldn't see through it.

Klaus smiled widely and elbowed Damon, who was looking at her with concern. "No one." He said quickly. "I was mocking Klaus, he's obsessed with this girl." He moved away and pulled her slightly away from Klaus to look her in the eyes. "Okay, what's wrong?" he asked worriedly. Her eyes had been sad for a moment, before she slid on the fake smile.

"Nothing." Elena said, acting the confused role perfectly. Damon cocked his head to the side for a moment. He held out his hand.

"Dance with me?" he asked softly.

She took his hand with utter delight, and let him town her towards the dancing bodies under the fairy-light illuminated tree.

He grabbed her waist and pulled her close, laughing joyfully as they danced in wide circles acting like crazy teenagers.

_Cradle me I'll cradle you_

_I'll win your heart, with a whoop-a-woo_

Damon whistled softly in her ear as he sang along huskily.

_Putting shades just for your eyes_

_So with toothpaste kisses and lies_

_I'll be yours and you'll be mine_

_Lay with me, I'll lay with you_

_We'll do the things_

_Those lovers do_

_Put the stars in our eyes_

_And with heart shaped bruises_

_And late night kisses divine_

"Do you wanna go?" he asked quietly as her eyes saddened, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. Even under the low lighting, he could tell every single tiny insignificant detail there was to tell about her. She nodded slightly.

"I'll be back in a minute." Damon murmured to her brushing his thumb across her cheekbone.

They said there goodbyes, pointedly ignoring the smug looks being shot their way by Klaus as they made walked out on of the garden with their arms wrapped around each other.

"Are you okay?" he asked skeptically, glancing across the car at her, who was strange straight ahead and thinking hard about something. She was biting her lip.

She didn't say a word to him until they were inside her apartment.

He sighed and stood in front of her irritated and staring straight at her.

She smirked a little bit and leant against a wall. "I think you have an agreement to fulfill, Salvatore."

Damon shook his head and wrapped his arms around her waist to hoist her up so she rested on his hips. "Oh yeah?" he said, trapping her between his body and the wall.

"Yeah." Elena stated adamantly, and leaning back teasingly against the wall, showing off the long lines of her neck. She dropped down from around his waist and disappeared into the bathroom, leaving Damon staring after her utterly confused. When she reappeared a few minutes later, capturing his attention with a languid kiss that tasted of toothpaste and Elena.

"You cleaned your teeth?" he asked incredulously.

Elena nodded, her sweet smile turning into one of desire as he hoisted her back around his waist and once again trapped her between himself and the wall.

Damon captured her lips in a heated kiss and before long their shirts were shedded around them and once again, they fell into their pattern and it had Damon wondering if this agreement was really a bad thing.

Elena wouldn't love him like he loved her, and god, did he love her, but in the meantime, having her in his arms and being able to kiss her like she was actually his couldn't hurt him too much, could it?

His thoughts were cut short abruptly by Elena's wandering hands, and just like that, all sense of sensibility was gone.

As they crashed onto the bed, Damon trailed his way up and down her body, committing every detail to memory. Every freckle, every flaw was imprinted into his mind, just in case this time was the last time her ever had her.

"You're thinking really hard." Elena managed to gasp out as he trailed across her hipbones with aching slowly.

"I'm not thinking." He denied, continuing his silent worship of her body.

She didn't reply. She simply rolled them over and set their movements at her own pace and taking control as she moved on top of him.

"You're pretty amazing." He managed to force out between hisses of pleasure.

"You're not so bad yourself." Elena replied breathlessly, submitting to Damon rolling them over and pressing her into the mattress.

Damon groaned as he reached his peak right after Elena and rested his head into the crook between her shoulder and neck. "Night." He murmured while his eyes were drifting closed.

Elena shuffled slightly, burrowing into Damon's side and pressing her face to his chest.

"You're more amazing than you think you are." Elena said quietly, thinking Damon to be asleep.

He didn't want to make her feel awkward about what they were doing, so pretending to be fast asleep he rolled over and pulled her body as close to his as humanly possible breathing in the scent of vanilla and toothpaste. With her curled up next to him, and with the words she had uttered, for the first time, he allowed himself to think that maybe he wasn't as trapped in the friend zone as everyone seemed to think.


End file.
